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Chipsdads Journal
Thursday, February 24, 2005
12:41PM - Catching Up (A LOT!)
So, the whole idea of keeping the journal to reflect my colon cancer issues seemed to fall by the wayside. Suffice to say that it was not easy. Surgery went very well, and the recovery was good for the first few days. Then my bowel would not re-start and I had to have a tube inserted into my stomach. This process is to be avoided at all costs! The day they put the tube in probably rates as the worst of my life and the next two were not much better - large doses of drugs helped! My biggest concern was that Chip and Delia had to leave and that their last image of me was as a very sad, tired and drugged person with this tube hanging from my face. I felt very bad!
On the Monday I was allowed to go home. I felt pretty good and was happy to get out of the hospital. It was wonderful to take a shower - but it took every ounce of energy I had to do so! Apart from difficulty sleeping, all went well until early Friday morning when I developed enormous pains in my chest and shoulder. Mary took me to the emergency room and eventually I was re-admitted to the hospital. However, the pains went away, and they could find nothing wrong.
To cut a long story short, the shoulder pains continued to happen two or three times a day for the nest ten days. Finally my doctor re-admitted me to the Cardiology Intensive care ward. They spent a day doing tests and still could not find any problems so I was sent home. The pains never happened again!
I was off work a total of 8 weeks, and probably did not get back to full strength until around Thanksgiving but since then all has been well.
Currently, the big things in our lives are that Mary's sister has had surgery for lung cancer - all went well but she is having chemo as a preventative measure and is not doing well with the chemo. We are going to visit her this weekend. Marys' son, Kevin, is living at our house. It is not a situation I particularly enjoy - he seems very poorly motivated to do anything and I feel like I cannot be myself in my own home. In theory, it will only be until June when he goes off to college, but it will be a long four months until then!
Thursday, July 15, 2004
8:42AM - Vacation
Mary and I got home last night after a week in England. We spent the first two days in London and visited a number of the tourist locations - highlights were the Cabinet War Rooms and The Tower of London, both great experiences for both of us although I had been to the Tower many years ago.
On Friday we rented a car and drove up to Derbyshire to visit my aunt. We went to Bakewell for lunch and toured around a little before we dropped her off at home. Considering that she is 92 years old, she lives on her own and still walks to the stores to do her shopping! She is a treat to visit and a wealth of knowledge about my family.
From Heanor we went to visit my younger sister, Angela, who lives near Retford. Again, we had a great visit, too much to drink and many, many laughs. It was very good to see her again after such a long time and it was also good for Mary to finally meet her. I think that "mending the fence" with Angela and Malcolm has had a major effect on my outlook. I now feel much more content and happier with both myself and the world in general.
We left Angela's on Saturday morning and drove up to Pickering in Yorkshire. We stayed at a very nice B&B located in an old mill. On Sunday we went to York and visited the Railway Museum as well as walking around the city. Once again, Mary was very impressed by the age and condition of the old buildings. We walked around some of the old city wall which was also fun to do. On Monday we took a trip on the North York Moors Railway. It is a restored steam railway operated by volunteers and was used for some of the train scenes from the Harry Potter movies - we can now say that we have been to Hogwarts Station! The train was a lot of fun and a very relaxing way to spend a day.
On Tuesday we drove down to Cambridge and spent the day with my older sister Beryl. Her daughter, Charlotte, came over for dinner and again we had a good time. We are looking forward to Charlotte coming to visit us in November.
Overall, we had a great time. The surgery discussions were kept to a minimum which helped keep that thought from spoiling the holiday. It was very good to relax and enjoy my family, and the spectacular scenery. We drank lots of good beer (!) and had good food in pubs for most of our trip. The B&B was both picturesque and comfortable - we would certainly visit again. Certainly, picking an area and staying for two or three days made the trip more enjoyable. now it is back to work and getting everything sorted out for the surgery a week from Monday. Most of the trepidation has gone - although I must admit I am still nervous about the whole thing. I do have a few small projects lined up for after the surgery - help Kim wire up his car, rebuild a pair of carbs for the MG, and rework our web page. How much I will be able to accomplish remains to be seen, but at least I have something to look forward to.
thankfulThursday, July 1, 2004
11:51AM - No Stress!
Today's news is that yesterday's stress test went very well. My heart is in good shape and can handle the rigors of the surgery. What is ticking me off royally right now is that all the tests say I am in good shape - except for this stupid thing in my colon!
Chip's birthday on Saturday - Happy Birthday young man! I have a present for you - but you will have to come here to get it!
If the weather holds out we will be flying up north for the weekend. Despite the "dealing with the in-laws" issues, I am looking forward to going. If we don't fly, we will drive the MG which would also be fun!
I guess I am coming to terms with what is going on. I seem to be more comfortable with the surgery than I was, but still uncertain about the recovery phase. I am banking on smooth sailing with no complications and hope to be up and about in less than 1 week! I want to be able to work from home within two weeks and then see how I feel.
Monday, June 28, 2004
1:46PM - The Long Wait!
Well, all considered we had a great weekend. On Saturday I was able to work on the MG - I put relays in for the headlights and horn so that the switches see a lower current and live longer. They are already 30 years old and are expensive to replace! In the afternoon we went to a surprise birthday party for one of my colleagues then we went to see Fahrenheit 911 in the evening. I liked the movie - it sure gives a very scary impression of Bush, but I didn't think it was as well made as Bowling for Columbine.
Sunday morning we got up early and flew to Hillsdale, MI. They were having a fly-in, pancake breakfast and car show. We hadn't flown the airplane in a few weeks so that was good to do. Then in the afternoon we took the MG for a cruise around some country roads. It was perfect MG weather - sunny and clear but not too hot.
I am finding it very difficult to get a handle on my feelings toward the surgery. Part of me wants to get it over with, and the other part is scared stiff of what I will wake up to afterward. Strangely, not surviving the surgery does not seem to bother me - in fact sometimes that seems to be the preferable outcome! Having Kevin back from the Navy has also thrown a wrench in the works. It is great to see him, and he is welcome to stay at our house, but the irregularity of his appearances and my natural tendency to "shut down" when I have a problem are making it difficult for me to share the issues with Mary and try to be as "normal" as possible for the next few weeks.
Surprisingly, friends who are trying to be supportive are becoming annoying! I know they want to help, but honestly I do not think I will be in any mood to be sociable the moment I wake up from the surgery. It is difficult to tell them we don't want them there - but I guess we will have to do it!
okayTuesday, June 22, 2004
10:50AM - Passing the News!
I just got off the phone with Chip. It is not easy passing on bad news to your son. I hope he is O.K. and knows that I am going to be alright but I hung up the phone feeling very sad.
Perhaps the two months off work will give me some time to go out to NH and visit Chip for a few days. I kinda like hanging out with him - even though sometimes we hardly talk to each other!
sadMonday, June 21, 2004
6:29PM - Talk about having a Bad Day!
O.K. - Entry number one. Mary has encouraged me to do this to keep track of what is going on in my life for the next few months. That probably sounds a little cryptic so let me explain.....
At the urging of Mary, my wife, I agreed to go for a full physical at my Docs. I have been putting this off for some time as I knew the Doc would send me for a colonoscopy. So, on May 7th off to the doc I went. Everything checked out O.K. (alright, blood pressure could be better) and the doc ordered bloodwork amd the dreaded colonoscopy. Bloodwork was done that day - colonoscopy was scheduled for June 10th.
Actually, having the colonoscopy is a piece of cake - the prep is a little unpleasant but that's all. Anyway, I wake up to find the doc at my side - he explains that I have a golf-ball size tumor in my sigmoid colon that will need to be surgically removed. He recommended a surgeon, and told me not to worry (!) - yeah, like that was going to happen. My mother died from colon cancer - now it looks like I could be heading down the same path.
The next few days were a mixture of total disbelief, anger, frustration and fear. On the following Tuesday (June 15th), Mary and I went to see the surgeon. Dr. McKendrick was very reassuring and told me things that both helped relieve my fear, but also strenghtened it. The best news was that the biopsy showed the tumor to be benign, but he is suspcious they may find some cancer cells when it is removed. On the other hand, this is MAJOR surgery. I will be in the hospital 4 to 7 days, then off work for two months to recuperate.
Since then, I have slowly been getting used to the idea of the surgery. Dr. McKendrick promised that a colostomy will not be required - which is some relief. I guess now I have resigned myself to two months taking it easy, but I am still terrified at the thought of the surgery, and even more scared about what I will feel like when I wake up afterwards.
Surgery is scheduled for July 26th. Today I had a CT scan as part of the preparatory work. On June 30th I go for a stress test to make sure my heart is in good shape and on July 6th I go to England for a weeks' vacation.
nervous